dear anonymous II...

For quite awhile, I was seeing someone back in my hometown. and I found out he was also seeing these other girls. It turned out that he convinced me they were never been his flames. I believed in him. We continued our relationship as if there’s nothing I should be worried about. The truth is, he wasn’t in love with me like I thought. What I’m trying to say is I understand feeling of small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually aches in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. It doesn’t matter how many shoes you bought or dresses you tired on or how many fake smiles you put on your face during the weekends with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong and how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for the brief moments you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at you front door? After all that, however long “all that” may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff… those years of your life that you wasted…that will eventually begin to fade.